Wednesday, August 22, 2012

"Daughter" - Loudon Wainwright III

Quarter Life Crisis Exhibit A
Now that I've reached my quarter life crisis point (I've already been through the piercing/tattoo/leather phase so it can't get much worse),  I find myself reflecting a lot this past year. Being an over confident 20 something year old, I usually think that everything I say is gospel. There is one thing that I've learned, that most would agree with, that family is the most important thing in your life.  No matter how much you fight with them or they irritate you, at the end of the day they're blood, and these are the people that will always care most and be there for you. This post reminds me of a quote from another song, "Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen" by Baz Luhrmann.

"Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.  Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young." 

Everyone is getting married,
And I'm just getting kittens 
Now that I'm ageing rapidly, (but beautifully) I realize that I most certainly need the people I knew when I was young(er).  I've also realized that everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. Thinking about either process a) makes me nauseous and b) scares the hell out of me.  I don't have a strong womanly urge to get married, and while I do have Pinterest, I don't have a board called "My Future Wedding." I don't know if I'll ever do the whole "till death do we part" deal, but if I do, I know that my father-daughter dance will be to "Daughter" by Rufus Wainwright II.  I first heard this song in the movie, "Knocked Up"during a scene that captures how this goofy, moronic guy is fiercely in love with his little girl.

I Love you too J.Bird
I wouldn't say that I'm "Daddy's Little Girl",  but I wouldn't say that I'm not either.  We have a weird relationship, in that he'll yell at me for sleeping till noon and use terms of endearment like, "Butthead" or "Shittypants -Loser".  But he's also the guy that secretly slips me money whenever I go backpacking like a transient, brings me my favorite peanut butter home ( JIF ), or teaches me a random manly skill like shooting or fishing.  Deep down under all that fur, and  scary bear-like exterior I know that he cares about me. Not just because he checks the oil in my car every other weekend, but because 1 out of every 10 phone call goodbyes he'll say "I love you" back.  Some people have a weird way of showing you that they care, but don't let that stop you from telling them how you feel.

His Mom, my Gramma,  passed away this year. It was hard, sad and she will always remain in my thoughts and heart.
In her eulogy he wrote something that I often think about, and that I remember every time I think I'm too busy for my family.  He said, "People worry about what to give their parents for Christmas, Birthdays or Mothers Day, and they worry that they'll give something they won't need or like, but the thing you can give them that they will love most, is your time."

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
Yea, I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

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